Have you even seen those fringe, Asian game shows on TV? They’re rather bizarre aren’t they? Like, we have Ninja Warrior, The Chase, Survivor, and in the UK you guys have Takeshi’s Castle.

They have all stuff oddly reminsant of Tetsumo Party – A small game that I had at first mistaken for a Mario Party type of deal. Alas, it is not; it’s just one thing, and that thing seems mystifying to me. It seems like the sort of thing that would be better suited to both VR or a mobile game… Or one of those VR mobile hybrid games. I don’t know, it’s just… Weird to me.

Tetsumo Party is a rather simple game; you control the limbs of a sumo wrestler by using the four triggers of the console controller, and you have to position them in order to fit through cut-outs that slowly approach you on some invisible conveyor belt or some such, similar to Hole in the Wall. As you play, the cut-outs come at you faster and faster, and you unlock outfits and such depending on how long you survive.

I, admittedly, have a reaction time akin to a startled sloth… So I didn’t get too far into Tetsumo Party, try as I may have done. ‘Tis not a game up my alley. I think the longest I survived was twenty minutes-ish… So, perhaps there is more to explore, maybe there are other game modes? I’m not sure. I can’t really find much in the way of gameplay online to see if there is indeed a Mario party sort of deal later on in the game; so, for now, all I know is cut-outs and a big, blocky Sumo dude.

It’s odd, because this is the sort of thing that isn’t particularly widespread; I can’t think of any other title that really does this sort of gameplay. I know there’s a VR thing like this, I believe it is part of a bundle or like a Portal Lab sort of setup… But is Tetsumo Party worth your money? No, not really. If it were in a bundle, perhaps, but this strikes me as the sort of thing that should be free, or again, on mobile. I know, I know, the developer has to make money somehow, but it doesn’t seem that hard to code something like this. While I’m sure the code for Tetsumo is like sixty pages long, still.

I find it odd however, seeing something like this on a console. Is this a thing we’re going to be seeing more of? I don’t know. At what point does a game become ‘console worthy’? Is that even a thing anymore? I’ve seen a lot of games on the PSN Store that, in my opinion, just don’t belong there. Are we already approaching the precipice where console and PC become the same thing? Where platforms become irrelevant..? Who knows?

When it comes down to it though, games like these are not entertaining enough. I’m not trashing on Tetsumo, but what else is there? Can you call it a game if it’s just one thing repeated ad infinitum? It kind of seems like a joke almost, like Flappy Bird, the sort of game that someone somehow plays for days on end, just to get some ridiculously high score that no one really cares about.

That’s what it seems like to me. Sure, it’s all brightly coloured and things flash up on screen when you do things right. It’s almost like Cooking Mama; this simple repetitive thing that cottles you with praise when you do the good thing. It’s definitely the sort of game you’d put your three year old in front of to occupy them while you cook dinner or some such.

There isn’t much else I can really say about Tetsumo Party; it’s solidly designed, there’s no bugs or niggles. It’s challenging whilst being simple to play. It’s pretty much what all games wish they could be, or at least, what all developers wish their games were.

Developed and published by Monster Couch, Tetsumo Party is one of those small, independent successes that just goes to show it really is the big corporate board office types that are ruining gaming today.  

Tetsumo Party gets a solid 7/10 from me; I just wish It had some more to it. Good game though.

7.0 / 10

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