Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Liu Kang. Mortal Kombat is chock full of great and iconic characters to mash and stab each other with, but for every amazing martial artist there are at least 3 duffers who couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag. Today I feel like focusing on these failures and weirdos that balance out the roster and fill out a few of the character tiles on the select screen!

MOKAP

Who the fuck thought this was a good idea? Mokap is – as the name suggests – a random potato-faced bloke wearing a motion capture suit who has no Fatalities and no right to exist. Appearing first in MK: Deadly Alliance, he seems to be a deadly alliance between a developer’s crack addiction and a strange fever dream as he appears out of nowhere and doesn’t add or really take anything away from the overall game. He just exists as a strange addition that I’ll be honest I normally just forget happened.

KOBRA

You know who’s cool? Ken Masters in Street Fighter. You know who isn’t cool? A shitty villainous copy of Ken in an attempt to be “edgy”. Introducing Kobra, a street fighting martial artist and Black Dragon aspirant who made his debut in MK: Deception, Kobra is just an amalgamation of copied work; He looks like Ken, Fights like Johnny Cage and uses fatalities from Kano. It’s clear the Netherealm have nothing good or interesting to say about him either since his only mention since the “every fighter” MK: Armageddon is during one of the pre fight intros between Erron Black and Kano in MKX where Black admits to having killed Kobra beforehand. Good fucking riddance.

JAREK

Besides Kano and Kabal the Black Dragon clan seem to have a history of sending sub-par fighters to the MK tournaments… Jarek probably sits atop the pile of shit warriors they have as a special case. Another fighter who brings absolutely NOTHING to the table besides some copied fatalities which in his case don’t even make sense. Prime example is Jarek’s Eye Laser Fatality, a carbon copy of Kano’s iconic kill move but how Jarek pulls this off without the appropriate cyber eye is anyone’s guess? Its notable that in his only major appearance in the main canon, MK: 4, He shares his ending video with Sonya Blade and Jax and is shown being killed by the iconic justice team. Even the developers didn’t want to keep him around.

FERRA-TORR

The most recent of the waste of roster crew, Ferra-Torr is a horrific tag team with the nimble childlike Ferra riding around on the hulking meat tank Torr in some weird Master Blaster cosplay. Ferra-Torr just feels like a box ticker who was put in just to add another “big” character to the roster since most of the main series big boys have been phased out over time. With slow lumbering moves and a dull “apocalyptic” design big ol’ FT just stands out but not in an interesting way, more in a “why was this included” way. Worst of all though is Ferra’s voice. During cut scenes and intros you will be subjected to the high-pitched jabbering of this pre-teen creature which makes the idea of Scorpion jamming a rope spear into your skull sound delightful.

STRYKER

A fucking beat cop… Yep, an over the hill chubby cop with a backwards cap and a gun joined the fight way back during MK3 and didn’t take anything by storm except maybe a box of doughnuts. Stryker is the strangest addition to the early game roster and no matter how hard I think I just can understand why he showed up? In a game full of martial artists, monsters, gods and ever cyborgs a random cop still stands out like a sore thumb as a fucking dumb idea. Sure in his later appearances they tried to update the character and make him “cooler” but I still can’t think of a single person who would instantly say Stryker was one of their favourite characters. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t even crack most people’s top 20, in fact I’m confident you forgot he even existed until I mentioned him huh?

DRAHMIN

What can I even say about this chap… A festering sack of meat surrounded by a swarm of flies and wielding a hefty club on one arm. Drahmin was yet another forgettable character added to the franchise with MK: Deadly Alliance and hoo boy was he a strange one. He was just a weird addition I mean no one really asked for a gross Oni character yet we were lumped with him taking up a space in a roster that could have done with another GOOD character. Drahmin didn’t even have to good nature to have a cool looking fatality. He just whacks them on the noggin a couple of times… I guess it’s still better than Quan Chi’s neck stretching one but still… You’re meant to be a demon dude.

%d bloggers like this: