It’s around noon, July 26th where I am. I awoke, bleary eyed after a late night with a friend, and my first thought jolts me awake: Today is the day. Fire Emblem: Three Houses is released.
As a fan of the series, I of course check the Fire Emblem Subreddit even though I’ll have the game in my hands in a few hours, because I am an excited dumbass.
But now I find myself not getting dressed and preparing to head out and collect my pre-ordered copy, but instead sitting on my computer, typing out this rant. Still sleep in my eyes, but no longer excited, and instead filled with an angry disappointment.
It’s come to light on the Subreddit that, apparently, two of the three S Ranks Male Byleth can achieve with other males – S Ranks being synonymous with romance in the franchise – aren’t actually romances, but platonic (Despite A+ rank existing for that). And worse, one is apparently so poorly written that you can mistake it for a romance, as Kenneth Shepard elaborates below:
Meanwhile, 4/5 of the assumed lesbian options are indeed, apparently, romances.
Like… Seriously, Inteligent Systems? We were disappointed when we thought it was going to be three gays vs five lesbians, but you round male options down to just one? When one of the S ranks smokescreens you that badly? When Claude – who even the straight guys wanted to be bi – flirts with you and leads you on and shit, and nothing comes of it?
And you make the fact the lesbian options are only there for straight fetishisers even more fucking obvious? Did you guys really learn nothing after the shitshow that was Rhajat?
So now – instead of being excited for a game I ordered months ago – I’m writing this rant, frustrated and disappointed, with my equally gay friend still asleep and yet to learn this rubbish.
I don’t honestly know what else to say. Intelligent Systems, you could have cleared this shit up ages ago if you knew you were going to be this pathetic. But you chose not to, even ‘hoping’ that players would ‘enjoy the same-sex romances on offer this weekend’. It is shockingly not hard to provide gay male romances, or to not treat lesbians as fetish objects in a series where romance has become a mechanic. And yet, here we are.
Fuck you, Intelligent Systems. This isn’t how a gamer should feel on release day. I’m sure the game will otherwise be great, but now there’s a wonderful bitterness that’ll accompany the experience… So thanks.