The Final Fantasy 7 Remake has been out for only a few days and in that time, I have rediscovered my love for a certain oversized sword, and no I’m talking about Barret’s…. ahem… I’m obviously talking about the iconic Buster Sword. Basically, a carving knife with an inferiority complex. The Buster is among a few weapons in games that are beyond ridiculous, but I can’t seem to ever get enough of, so with that mentality in mind I thought I’d use this platform to talk about a few guns and melee weapons that amaze me but maybe not for the most sensible of reasons?

Switch Axe (Monster Hunter)

It’s never been a secret that I love axes, as melee weapons go, nothing gets me going quite as much as a good powerful axe! However, I do still love swords, so when I was offered a combo of the two in Monster Hunter: World. I was all in on it! The switch axe spends most of its time as a rather hefty axe but after building up enough energy, you can flick the switch and transform the weapon into a gigantic sword! Not only is the sword giant, the bastard gives of fire and lightning while you’re at it! This is a weapon built for tearing giant monsters a part, and you can be damn sure that it’ll do just that. I grew particularly attached to a thunder variant I got later in my playthrough which, much like my love of axes, will surprise absolutely no one, If I can roleplay as Thor? You can be damn sure that I’ll do just that!

“I am definitely NOT compensating for anything”

Twin-bladed Knife (Dishonored: Death of the Outsider)

I was torn here, about whether to include the folding blade Corvo wields, or this beam shooting dark god blade, as you can see the decision really was made for me when I said that phrase in my head… The Twin-Bladed Knife is a name without an ounce of fat, no spectacular fancy names, just an apt description of the physical object, and a vast understatement of its true power. Being the only weapon capable of harming the godlike Outsider, this double shank special also allows you to fire beams of energy and manipulate enemies from range. Ramping up the fun factor of a game already chockfull of fun ways to mess with bad guys! Plus, leading lady Billie Lurk stores the weapon in her black shard arm…if that isn’t cool as hell? I really don’t know what more you want from me?

Getting shanked once could be called bad enough…

Rocket Hammer (Overwatch)

I admit it, I’m a Reinhardt main. No shame, if you play Overwatch then you know how that makes me a rare find, a tank main. Only thing rarer is support! Reinhardt ticks a lot of the favorite character boxes for me, big, loud, nice and of course then there’s the weapon, a gigantic hammer with 3 rockets built into the back to give it extra power? Yes, you know what? I think I will obsess over how damn cool that thing is! With the rockets allowing the mighty German to bring down the weapon for his earth shatter ult, it’s a force to be reckoned with and in a game loaded with ranged fighters, this thing’s raw power keeps it well in the fight even when most people are a good few meters away from you!

“Come closer so i can hit you with my hammer”

Morph-o-ray (Ratchet & Clank)

This was the hardest choice on the on this list! I mean when it comes to platform shooter masterpiece Ratchet & Clank, pretty much every weapon could be classed as a strange one! But after much soul searching and deciding which was funniest, I’ve got to say though, turning bad guys into chickens is a stand out. This outlandish tool of destruction was used most often in pre-release ads for the first game as it perfectly sets up the nature of the whole game, silly weaponry to cause silly devastation to silly enemies. It also did the game plenty of favours by making this puppy have no ammo. So you could sprint through most levels leaving them looking like Colonel Sanders dream with hens clucking all over the place! Even better, the resulting poultry could still be bashed with a wrench if you had an unquenchable thirst for blood and bolts!

I tried to think of a chicken pun here…but i couldn’t be clucked…
%d bloggers like this: