In a shocking display of not having a damn clue what the fanbase wanted, Halo Infinite devs 343 Industries recently unveiled the road map for Infinite’s season two. It’s a rich tapestry of absolutely nothing anyone has been requesting. Bringing not just one but two maps that look very…alright, two game modes that should have been there from launch (King of the Hill & Land Grab), MAYBE the Co-op feature we’ve all come to expect from Halo anyway, and oddly enough a Battle Royale mode called Last Spartan Standing.

Of course, this has led to a lot of fans staring at their screen blinking in disbelief as none of these add-ons seem to bring anything anyone actually requested. The Battle Royale mode is particularly baffling since Halo has long had its own large scale battle gameplay in the form of Big Team Battle. If I had been on the development team (they won’t respond to my threats emails) I might have pitched that 343 up the numbers on Big Team Battle, let’s have even bigger fights with 50 players on each side! Utter chaos and a constant volley of grenades, and even Warthogs!

With a new season we also get a new armour core to decorate in any way we can afford… Yes yes it’s been said a million times before but Halo Infinite’s armour system sucks. Locking all the variations behind a battle pass you need to pay for is a gigantic slap in the face and makes 343 out to be an even bigger bad guy than even the Covenant were. If you’ve paid money for the game, and paid money to Microsoft to use their online service, to play the game they own… then why should you then have to pay AGAIN to access a small selection of armour variations?! However, worst of all is exactly what this season’s new earnable armour core looks like… Check out the Entrenched Armour.

Killzone? Never heard of it

Horrible right? Like a somehow more Nazi version of the Helghast kit from Killzone. Much like last seasons Tenrai samurai inspired gear, the Entrenched set will be earned by taking part in a few set events over the season. So yes, another SIX MONTHS of slowly progressing. This is a main reason why these seasons have sucked so far, 343 seems content to drop each one six months apart, then provide very little content each time. Looking at the roadmap, it seems like Infinite will receive far less content in one year than any other online game in recent memory. Plus, it’s a stinker to have the season revolve around one recurring event that comes back every three weeks and only allows you to unlock more of the same gear. There’s nothing to keep you wanting to come back!

Sure, some of you might be looking at this and saying, “But Will, Campaign Co-op finally!” well I say to you, you big dumb idiot, this is a roadmap that says they AIM to release the Co-op by late August. Now I don’t know about you, but if I was driving somewhere and the map I had told me MAYBE my destination was two hours away, that wouldn’t fill me with much confidence. 343 have bungled this launch at every turn. Credit where it’s due, the campaign has been the best Halo outing in years, but this season nonsense has been a constant kick in the pebbles to any online multiplayer fans and it looks like we’re in for at least another six months of gonad kicks.