To celebrate the release of the Resident Evil 2 Remake today (And Luke shitting himself when he first saw the new improved Lickers), we discuss our favourite (Or least favourite is probably more apt…) monsters in videogames. Join us as we delve into long withheld memories and shit our pants all over again!
William. Fucking. Birkin. ESPECIALLY in the new Remake of Resident Evil 2 will EASILY forever be my favourite monster from any video game ever. The monster who made my wife go “Seriously, what the actual fuck is that” when watching me play the remake is easily the most scary thing in history. LOOK AT HIM:
You, and that eye, can fuck off. EAT ACID ROUNDS.
In a conscious effort to not talk about Resident Evil 7 again… I’m going for the Crones in the Witcher 3. I remember them being completely disgusting and a true representation of what vile witches could be. Plus the boss fight were a tough one. I enjoyed the build up story before you fought them and the twisted mind behind it.
So in our horror moments club not so long ago I mentioned BioShock, and you know what, I’m doing it again! Big Daddies are my pick for horror monsters. These lumbering diving suit wearing behemoths are always deeply impressive and, when enraged, are more terrifying than anything else you encounter in the halls of Rapture. As they stomp around looking after their precious Little Sister they cast a mean shadow over everything they pass and hearing their whale like bellows really sets you on edge. It’s best to avoid a fight if you can since theyre normally indifferent to your presence but when you finally need to fight one hoo boy you’d better come packing heat and plasmids. With bucket loads of health and some of the most damaging attacks in game these hefty bastards will give you a scary and rewarding fight! There’s a reason the prize for killing one is so good…
With the Resident Evil 2 remake out today I think its apt to pick something from this classic survival horror though I have a confession; I never actually owned Resi 2. As a ten year old lad at the the time of its release there was no way I could trick my Mum into thinking this game was child friendly, but that didn’t stop me sneaking over to my friends house to play it in secret. Needless to say this friend would get a lot of enjoyment from flicking off the lights and watching me play this classic in absolute fear.
The monster that sticks with me to this day is without a doubt Mr X. Oh my god this guy haunted my nightmares for weeks! I don’t know what it is about Mr X that terrified me so much, maybe it was just how human he looked yet still so eerily dead. Maybe it was how tall he was or slow he would approach or maybe it was the fact that he seemed indestructible. Though I think the worst part was the wait… After every encounter with this terrifying creature I knew it was just a matter of time before he would be back to haunt me once again and ruin that nights sleep!
So when I finally get my hands on the new Resident Evil 2 I think its safe to say the long nerve shredding wait for the arrival of Mr X will start all over again and I for one can’t wait.
P.S: Sorry Mum…
For me, there is nothing more haunting than the long-forgotten Deerhaunter from Timesplitters: Future Perfect. This hulking mass of flesh – despite it’s somewhat comedic value splurting out “The Moose is loose…!!” – is absolutely nightmarish, and resulted in many embarrasing attempts to hide behind the pillow or sofa at my old mate Aaron’s house back in middle school; this… Thing, was absolutely demonic in appearance, and, with little ol’ me still playing Kingdom Hearts 2 and in awe of the Disney wonder, it was no wonder that this thing had me shitting the bed for weeks.
God bless you Deerhaunter. May you forever rot in hell.