Donald Trump has been an unquestionably divisive President, and the inauguration of Joe Biden on the 20th of January has everyone wondering what he will do next. Assuming the answer to that isn’t ‘prison’ I think it would be great for the Donald to become a Pokémon trainer!
Potentially the most famous face on the planet, nobody would expect this sudden dramatic change of pace, especially as I’m fairly sure he’s not that familiar with what a Pokemon is. To help him on this new adventure, I’ve come up with five Pokemon that would suit him and make Trump an intimidating opponent for trainers around the world!
While it is true that Pokemon trainers can have a team of six Pokemon, I want to leave the final entry to his team up to you! Sound off in the comments as to what Pokemon you would add to this roster and why, and let’s get on with the list!
Gumshoos
Let’s kick things off with the obvious one, as Trump and Gumshoos definitely have some…similarities. When Gumshoos was revealed during one of the promotional trailers for Pokemon Sun and Moon, it took the internet no time at all to draw a correlation between the two of them.
Appearance quirks aside, Gumshoos is a formidable opponent not to be taken lightly. The signature rodent of the generation, with access to powerful Normal type moves such as Thrash, Hyper Fang and Super Fang, you can do far worse when it comes to assembling your early game team.
Gumshoos’ stance emanates confidence and power, and as a result I think Trump would be proud to add it to his team.
Alakazam
With the ability to summon spoons, and potentially votes, Alakazam would make a perfect ally for our new trainer. A fast Psychic Pokemon with an exceptional special attack stat, Alakazam can use its abilities to make things, such as voter fraud and rigged elections, disappear!
The convenient move Future Sight in its arsenal would allow DT to predict all manner of threats coming his way, and give him the ability to effortlessly avoid them. Unfortunately, while Alakazam is very powerful, it isn’t strong enough to withstand impeachment, which is where our next Pokemon comes in!
Giratina
The ability to manipulate reality, as proved by Thanos, would be pretty sweet. Unfortunately, no Pokemon has claimed this power yet, so the closest thing would have to be Giratina. The great combination of Ghost and Dragon, along with its ability to travel between our world and the ‘Distortion World’, would allow Giratina to stealthily scoop up those calling for impeachment and deposit them in a different dimension altogether!
An imposing opponent on any battlefield, Giratina can make all your problems disappear, and leave those remaining wishing they’d never been born!
Yveltal
You were expecting me to put Braviary on this list because it’s an eagle weren’t you? Oh my sweet summer child, Gumshoos was an unavoidable entry, but I think we can do a little better than Braviary when it comes to a big powerful bird. Presenting, the unquestionably powerful and marvellously extravagant, Yveltal.
With wings and tail (I think it’s a tail) outstretched, Yveltal’s body forms a ‘Y’ shape, which is fitting for the amount of times the Donald has been asked ‘WHYYYY?’ during his Presidency.
The best Flying type Legendary, don’t @ me, this is a capitol hill I will die on, and don’t tell me you can’t picture Donald commissioning a painting of him riding this majestic beast over the White House while firing an AK-47 into the air.
Comfey
Don’t you just hate auto-correct? During the confusion caused around the ‘covfefe’ tweet, big brain geniuses like myself immediately saw this for what it was, a shout-out to his favourite Pokemon: Comfey. Personally I don’t get what attracts Donald to Comfey, as the two of them don’t appear to share anything in common, but who can really claim to understand how his mind works!
Potentially it is the simple fact that daisies are his favourite flower (probably), but either way, welcome to the team Comfey / Covfefe!
Now it’s your turn! Let me know in the comments or on Twitter @RespawningUK what the sixth Pokemon on Donald Trump’s Pokemon team should be. Thanks for reading and I’ll catch you again next time!