It has been a rollercoaster of a week for Elden Ring and I. To follow on recounting my experiences after my first week with my first Soulsborne game, I can answer your most burning question with no, I haven’t defeated Margit yet. Renaming him Marbastard as ‘git’ doesn’t do my feeling towards him enough justice, I did manage to get him down to 5% health during one of my dozen or so attempts at slaying him. Unfortunately a mix of Souls boss adrenaline jitters, a caffeine dose not recommended by doctors as well as a premature celebration that I was about to win conspired against me to secure my downfall. I have not since got Marbastard below half health.
We move on! After my failed attempts, with nothing but open sea to the west and Marbastard resolutely blocking the north, I decided to travel south to the Weeping Peninsula to see what would like to murder me down there. Using my heavily leaned on spirit steed, Torrent (who I call Florence because I’m weird), I crushed the Bridge of Sacrifice who had previously given me trouble by using the genius method of sprinting through and immediately resting at the site of grace at the other side. Knowing enemies respawn and forget where you are upon doing this, it became an absolute cake walk for me to surprise attack the unit defending the bridge from where they’d least suspect: Behind them!
From there I continued south, adopting my previous approach to combat which was never attempting it ever and hiding in bushes when enemies drew near. This ingenious method was well and truly ruined when I was killed by a sudden incoming javelin which was bigger than my car (real life car, not in-game car) by a giant in the distance I couldn’t have been prepared for or seen any sooner. Knowing this is the nature of Soulsborne games, I didn’t take it personally, and carefully retraced my steps to see if I could get the jump on whoever was manning the ballista which surely fired the projectile. No such luck! Upon drawing near I learned that my actual assailant was a giant! ‘No problem’ I thought, I’ll just hack his ankles to pieces and knock off for an early lunch. He had other plans as it turned out, channelling his inner Lady Dimitrescu and stepping on me immediately which was simultaneously an instant death and hilarious. I felt crushed (heh).
I want to give a special mention to the first Walking Mausoleum I discovered whilst exploring the southern map. The giant four-legged wandering building / turtle is a much more awe-inspiring sight when you see it with your own eyes as opposed to in a trailer, but its constantly donging bell got on my nerves very quickly!
My favourite moment on the Weeping Peninsula wasn’t being murdered by the giant I mentioned earlier, though in true Soulsborne fashion, it still involved me getting good old fashioned murdered. This time it was by an open world roaming boss who I had mistaken for a hedge which jump-scared me out of my skin when it objected to me rooting around in its knee crevices looking for berries.
You could be forgiven for reading this far and thinking I’m about to wrap this up, but you’d be wrong! Through organic exploration (and a gentle reminder it existed) I found a north heading goat path which circumvented Marbastard altogether, dropping me off at the southern edge of a great lake near his castle. I assume it’s his anyway, as I’ve never got passed the entrance gate.
From my newly reached location to be killed in, Liurnia of the Lakes, still with nothing but sea to the west, I decided to continuing travelling north until Elden Ring would no longer let me. This happened sooner than I expected, when I reached a hut atop a steep cliff with sheer drops or groups of tough enemies on all sides. It is here, in this final thrust north that I appear to have covered as much distance as I can without achieving anything, and must now grit my teeth and die, die and die again to discover new places, confront new bosses and, in case I neglected to mention, die a hell of a lot more.
My save file has nearly hit the 14 hour mark with my character scraping through to hit level 38 at time of writing. In that time I have killed no bosses, been bullied by low level enemies but persevered through trial and error to bully them back, as well as developed new trust issues for hedges.
I’ll say it again: I hate hard games but I love Elden Ring. Every vista is crammed with majestic locations that I cannot wait to explore and be killed in, and I am under no illusions whatsoever that I have barely scratched the surface for what this game has to offer. A free patch yesterday, 17th of March, has added yet more things to do and NPC’s to interact with, in what I can confidently say is already an aggressive contender for my favourite game of 2022! Thanks for reading, and provided my adventures in the Lands Between continue I’ll be back next week with more on Elden Ring!
