Since its launch earlier this month Apex Legends has taken the gaming world by storm! A new battle royale bringing something fresh to the table after a few years of stagnation. I’ve personally logged about 80 hours into the game already and I show no signs of stopping anytime soon, I’m like a junkie who’s constantly surrounded by their vice!

Now to pile on more addiction problems I’ve decided to rank a few of the assorted guns we come across during our travels from The Pit to Kings Canyon. Don’t expect to see the ultra-rare supply drop only uber weapons on here.  I’ll be running this from best to worst which, if you’ve played the game, means you should know exactly what I’m saving for last!

Bonus points to whoever can figure out the last place entry from this image alone…

Let’s start with everyone’s favourite then. The panic to get hold of one early on is noticeable as teams scramble to crates hoping to find the glorious Peacekeeper lever action shotgun! Hitting hard a close range able to drop most foes in just 2 well placed shots and becoming many times more dangerous when equipped with a Precision Choke which gives it a rail gun like secondary fire, The Peacekeeper is a solid close range weapon that should be a key part of any team’s strategy.

From short range we’re now going to take the leap to long range with the Longbow DMR a semi auto sniper with some decent mid-range capabilities. Sticking a big scope and Skull Piercer Rifling on there can be a game changer at later stages of a match as you can sit on a cosy hole and start bunging lumps of lead into the other teams skulls from about a mile away and there’s very little they can do about it. In conjunction with the Peacekeeper you’ve got my ideal shotty sniper pairing!

Need something with a bit more speed huh? Or you just want to stick more rounds into the fleshy bits of the baddies? Then you should be looking out for the Flatline. With a mean rate of fire and packing a punch thanks to its use of heavy rounds, this bad boy is a great weapon early game and is only really let down by its recoil which becomes negligible if you can find a Barrel Stabiliser alongside it.

If you can’t find a Flatline for those mid-range starting battles then you should hope that you’ll find an R-99 SMG while not as punchy as the Flatline you’re still sure to scare most other players who come across you early on with its dramatic rate of fire and the knowledge that the map is always lousy with the Light Ammo required to keep this baby firing.

When on a night out it’s important to have a Wingman at your side, less so in the world of Apex. While the Wingman is a beast of a pistol and can dome any bad guy you happen to come across, especially if you’ve jammed the Skull Piercer mod onto its small frame, the only snag is actually trying to land that shot. It’s a slow firing and inaccurate mess and unless you’ve got the drop on your enemy it’s really not going to be doing you any favours. BUT you spin it like a cowboy when your pick it up and that’s cool right?

Now we’re getting into the useless weapons so let’s get nasty. The EVA-8, if this semi auto shotgun was a dessert it’d be a sponge cake with no flavour… About as bland as bland can be, this is literally only used when you’ve found nothing heavier than a couple of P2020 pistols and even then you’re likely to be better off with them than this grey lump in your hands. With poor power and weak drop off, you won’t be doing much of anything with this aside from letting everyone know exactly where you are when you pull the trigger.

If I told you there was a triple barrelled sniper rifle that fired laser shots you’d likely rip my arms off trying to get hold of the damn thing right? Well in that case good luck using the Triple-Take sniper rifle since it’s about as accurate as a one-eyed man with Parkinson’s and hits your foes like a slap in the face with a cooked noodle. What I’m trying to say is that it isn’t very good, even with the Precision Choke superglued on. With the choke attached the Triple-Take gains a secondary fire similar to the Peacekeeper, however that just lowers the already pretty abysmal fire rate so you’d better hope the baddies don’t have cover to hide behind within about 500 meters after you inevitably miss the first shot and spend 2 minutes charging the next one.

Keeping with the “energy weapons are bad mmmmmkay” vibe let’s move on to the bigger boy in this garbage family, The Devotion, an energy firing LMG this is another gun that sounds a lot cooler than it actually is. I’m if you look elsewhere you’ll find plenty of people praising this giant as a literal super weapon but guess what. They’re fucking wrong. The Devotion is reasonably powerful but it suffers with a fire rate that slowly builds up over time. It’s basically like pointing a device at the enemy and saying “hey I’m trying to kill you over here!!! Look at me!!!” Sticking the turbocharger mod into it will remove this downside and suddenly make The Devotion incredibly effective at killing but it’ll then eat through ammo like a fat kid eats pizza. I shouldn’t have to find a mod to make a weapon bearable. I should find them to make a good weapon even better.

Now. The moment you’ve all be waiting for…Will’s thoughts on the most famous weapon in the game… The Mozambique. *Inhale* FUCK THIS PIECE OF TRASH GOOD FOR NOTHING ABORTION OF A WEAPON!!! ITS FUCKING EVERYWHERE! IN EVERY CRATE AND EVERY BUILDING AND ITS LESS THAN USELESS! IT HITS LIKE AN ASTHMATIC BLOWING AT YOU THOUGH A STRAW AND I HAVE GENUINELY WON FIGHTS USING MY BARE FISTS AGAINST PEOPLE WITH A LOADED MOZAMBIQUE AND THE REVERSE IS TRUE DO AS I WATCH MYSELF GET FUCKING GANKED BY AN ENEMY WITH THE FAT OF HIS HAND WHILE I APPARENLY CHUCK TAPIOCA AT HIM THOUGH THIS SO CALLED “SHOTGUN” PATCH IT. DELETE IT. JUST FUCKING DO SOMETHING WITH IT RESPAWN JESUS H. FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!

That’s my two cents on the matter anyway. If you disagree with or share my opinions then please go ahead and leave us a comment! Don’t forget to download Apex Legends for yourself too if you haven’t already! JUST DON’T PICK UP THE MOZAMBIQUE!!!!

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