Over the past few months, my depression slowly has been making me deteriorate causing me to have problems eating, sleeping and living. While talking to friends has been a great help. I wanted to talk about some of the games that I have played recently that have helped me not slip further than I could have done.

First things first, do not take anything written in this article as advice of something that you should do to attempt to fix your issues. This piece is pure documentation of my experiences within gaming while suffering from depression. While I’ve been writing this I have been talking to people about what is happening, including doctors for medical assistance. This piece is as much for you to read as it is to help me through my mind; but really, I should get into what we’re all here to read about. Games, what I have been playing? Some, but not all, of these games are going to feature some sort of violence, that’s just the nature of the games I’ve been playing recently and there’s nothing better than beating people up for the betterment of everyone.


Marvel’s Spiderman is nothing like I’ve ever played before; the rope swinging is some of the most fluid gameplay I have ever seen – The fighting feels solid and at times brutal, if I’m feeling shit and I need a distraction, where else can I throw someone off of a building with a finisher, so far that they miss any of the walls and they splat into the ground. The fighting engine is very similar to that used in the Arkham Knight series and it works well, the button combo system can always make the game better, as long as you can:

A: Remember the sequences and…
B: Press them without fucking up to get the desired effect.

That being said, as a distraction and stress reliever, Spiderman has been pretty solid, I’ve been enjoying the story, swinging around the city and ignoring the story doing side quests as well. So far, I’ve loved it.

Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 – Zombies

Ah, the classic run around the map in a panic while blindly shooting at the horde of zombies that happen to be three feet from your ass. Thinking, that wasn’t too bad. Only to be doing the exact same thing again the next round until you go down. I’m happy to confess that I’m not the greatest COD player, and far from the best at Zombies as well… But sometimes, there’s something cathartic about pumping a shotgun of lead into the head of some angry zombie that wants to eat your brains.


This is some old-school racing here – I have often talked about games that are being remade for nostalgia, don’t appeal to me. I think I would love the nostalgia if the right game had been made. But, Alas, it’s not so. So instead ill play my old games. This is something that I played on my 360, back when I had to use an old boxy CRT TV that was in the conservatory. It was always too bright or too hot, or too cold, or too loud from rain to be able to enjoy effectively; but none the less, I still played and had a huge amount of fun. The game hasn’t held up very well, but, playing this game on my PC just reminded me of when I was a kid and how much I loved getting into games.

Clone Hero

The only way to play your favourite guitar hero, rock band or independent charter songs. I’ve spoken about clone hero a lot here in the past, so I’m just going to talk about what goes on in my head. Music has always been a huge part of my life, it still is. I find myself listening to music anytime that I’m not at work, and even then, when I can at work, I do. The music I’ve been listening too as I’ve been recovering has changed quite a lot. It used to be that I loved metal and that was most of what I listen to. Now things have quietened down quite a bit, things are a little more mellow and a bit more varied. I now enjoy a wider range of music including a finer appreciation of rap thanks to artists like Token and Eyedea & Abilities. But that doesn’t change my roots of loving metal; we all need to get in a pit once in a while. Also, check out Clone Hero if you haven’t, it’s worth it.

Project Cars

When something causes you to fail, you try and try until you succeed. Except I haven’t succeeded yet, but that won’t mean I will stop trying. In project cars, I have come across a hurdle in the form of a 3 Hour Endurance race, in a McLaren F1 around the track Zolder in Belgium. Having attempted the race multiple times I have failed at completing the race, either because I messed up my Pit Stop settings causing me to leave the pits having not changed my tires with a full tank of fuel. The only way to describe what happened is to say that I lost all grip and was unable to get around the track at a competitive speed. The other times I failed were due to being disqualified. Yes sometimes it was my fault, I did cut a lot of corners, but it’s the reward that comes from the risk which is great. Until you get disqualified that is. But playing this game made me realise something that I already knew. Life is not easy, you will fail. It’s okay though. Sometimes you just need to pick up the controller and try again.

So this article took a little longer than anticipated to write. A lot of things happened within my family which caused me to need to take personal time away from Respawning, including the death of my Grandfather. He wouldn’t want me to be suffering from my depression; he would want me to seize the day and be living my best life. That involves moving to a better place in my head, where my Grandfather would want me to be happy and doing my best at everything I do, and I will Grandad. Rest in Pease.

If you or someone else you know is suffering from depression or anxiety or something else, always remember that you are not alone. There will always be a way out because your friends are worth it, your family are worth it, and you are worth it. Never forget it. If you feel you need help or someone to talk too, go to This NHS Website to find details on various helplines.